I guess I’m writing this more because I haven’t in a few days, and less because I have something to say. The days have just been dragging out, going to work, coming home. Getting up, going to work. I have been trying to enjoy the company of friends as much as possible, but circumstances never seem to be good.

I’m counting the days I have left at work. Can’t wait to be done with this job, and this place. Yet I’m still scared to move on.

Change is coming like a freight train, and I’m in the way.


Keeping with the scheme of things, I spent the better part of my day today cleaning, and throwing crap away. On today’s agenda was my storage unit. It’s a classic feeling that everyone has, when you see something you haven’t even thought about for years, and suddenly can’t live without that item again. I found so many old books, toys, clothes and junk. It’s kind of creepy, like time-capsule ‘esque. I guess it was like dusting off a window into my past. Seeing pictures of myself, and friends from years ago. Items that use to fill my daily life, and now they have nothing to do with me.

In a way it’s nice to see that you have progressed in life, when it’s often very hard to see any change. Maybe I’m thinking way too hard about the junk I threw into boxes years ago, maybe not.

Enrollment agreement

I have signed, and submitted my enrollment agreement. Due to some minor changes, I had to move the day that I will be leaving up to the 24th of August. My start date is still confirmed for the 7th of September.

not much to say

I didn’t do much this weekend, plans fell through, blah blah. Spent about 7 hours on Saturday just doing laundry. Yea, exciting isn’t it? Sunday I pretty much just slept. I went to dinner alone. If you’re ever considering suicide, I highly recommend eating at a restaurant alone first. Because that will seriously seal the deal. That was the most depressing thing I have done in a long time.

I did get rid of a lot of junk though, leaving me with just a few more things to clean out before I leave. I still have to clean out my storage unit. I should have enough time to clean it all up before I leave. I would like to try and sell some more stuff, instead of having to give it away.

I’m so ronery.


Dear Mr. Dirkmaat:

Thank you for your application fee and tuition deposit payment, all required documents and especially for allowing FlightSafety to be of service to you.

We have scheduled you to attend the Professional Pilot Program on September 7, 2005.


Not that I didn't have faith of being accepted, but this is just another step into the right direction. I spent the good part of the evening yesterday throwing crap away. I cleaned out a drawer that I have been filling with receipts for about 5 years.

Exciting day for me!